Monday, 17 November 2008

Tech Support?

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech Support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Sure! It's really stuck.
Tech Support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet......
It's still on my desk... Sorry....

==================================

Tech Support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the
left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

==================================

Tech Support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male Customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech Support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; Don't start getting technical on me!
I'm not Bill Gates.

======================================

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.
Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've
even lifted the printer and placed it in front of
the monitor, but the computer still says he
can't find it...

===================================
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech Support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................Thank You.

=============================================
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech Support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech Support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces
back.
Customer: OK
Tech Support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech Support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one
does work...

=============================================

Tech Support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in
apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the
number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in Capital Letters?

=============================================

Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech Support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech Support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five Stars.

====================================

Tech Support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, Sorry... Internet Explorer.

==============================================

Customer: I have a huge problem.
A friend has placed a screen saver on my
computer, but every time I move the mouse,
it disappears.

==============================================

Tech Support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech Support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how
do I get the circle around it?

==============================================

A woman customer called the Canon Help Desk with a
problem with her printer.

Tech Support: Are you running it under Windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a
good point. The man sitting in the cubicle
next to me is under a window, and his printer
is working fine."

==============================================

And last but not least....

Tech Support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape
keys at the same time. That brings up a task
list in the middle of the screen. Now type the
letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech Support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech Support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

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